Inspiring Quotes and Iconic Works by George Carlin

Avoid teams at all cost. Keep your circl... - Insights from George Carlin

The quotes and works of George Carlin delve into themes of life, love, friendship, and success. Their words provide profound insights and inspiration, encouraging readers to reflect and find meaning in their own lives. Whether you're seeking motivation or exploring timeless wisdom, George Carlin's words offer a source of guidance and enlightenment.

Avoid teams at all cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name.
George Carlin
#Noremorse #Thought police #War

I can remember staring at the orphanage and feeling envy.
George Carlin
#Childhood #Humor

I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It's so fuckin' heroic.
George Carlin
#Grass #Hero #Heroism #Individualism

Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?
George Carlin
#Funny #Life #Witty

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
George Carlin
#Fighting #Humor #Misattributed george carlin #Peace

If the shoe fits, buy another one just like it.
George Carlin
#Comedy #Hilarious #Stand up

I was a hip kid. When I saw Bambi it was the midnight show.
George Carlin
#Bambi #Childhood #Hip #Humor

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
George Carlin
#Funny #Life #Witty

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
George Carlin
#Benediction #Evil #Goodwill #Humor

If voting changed anything, it would be illegal.
George Carlin
#Funny #Life #Witty

If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.
George Carlin
#Funny #Life #Witty

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.
George Carlin
#Funny #Life #Witty

THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR: 'Please stop sucking my dick or I'll call the police.
George Carlin
#Fellatio #Humor #Sex

I've set my own rules to live by. The first one is: 'Never believe ANYthing the government says.'
George Carlin
#Funny #Life #Witty

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
George Carlin
#Bad girls #Christmas #Santa #Santa claus

Why do they bother saying raw sewage? Do some people actually cook that stuff?
George Carlin
#Funny #Life #Witty

If honesty were suddenly introduced into American life, the whole system would collapse.
George Carlin
#Funny #Life #Witty

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
George Carlin
#Nature

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that 1 enjoys it?
George Carlin
#Funny #Life #Witty

If your kid needs a role model and you ain't it, you're both fucked.
George Carlin
#Humor #Kids #Parenting #Role models

Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breaths away.
George Carlin
#Funny #Life #Witty

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
George Carlin
#Common sense #Equality #Feminism #Humanism

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
George Carlin
#Funny #Life #Witty

Once you leave out all the bullshit they teach you in school, life gets really simple.
George Carlin
#Humor #Life #School

So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
George Carlin
#Death #Family #Fun #Hell

Sports fans eat shit.
George Carlin
#Humor #Sports

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
George Carlin
#Funny #Life #Witty

Your dog thinks you're a god. Your cat thinks the dog's an asshole.
George Carlin
#Funny #Life #Witty

The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
George Carlin
#Transformation #Growth #Change #Philosophy

Quotes and Iconic Works by George Carlin

Avoid teams at all cost. Keep your circl... - Insights from George Carlin